I Wrote These, But Not All the Ideas are Mine

September 9, 2009

1. You’ve always got to do what’s best for you and your ability to be happy, so long as it isn’t destructive or doesn’t hurt anyone else in the process

2. You’ve got to fight for what’s worth fighting for, even if it hurts.

2a. Things worth fighting for: good friends, relationships that are meaningful, your family, your passions (like writing, dancing, traveling, running, yoga)

3. Be honorable. Making the world a good place to live in starts with your own actions. Don’t waste things. Pay for your friends when you can. Volunteer when and where it would help.

4. Pursue art and the things that you find beautiful and creative.

5. Never let an opportunity pass you by because of fear.

6. Never make decisions out of fear (other than running away from hungry bears/mountain lions/etc.)

7. Keep good company. Keep good friends close.

8. Try to be healthy when you can, but don’t obsess over it to the point of being unhappy. Everyone dies, and stress is much worse for you than a few hamburgers.

9. If you have to break yourself, break yourself.

10. If you’re broken, never stop having faith that life is good, and that good things will come your way as you move along. Do small and easy things. Go for walks. Watch good TV, good movies. Spend time with friends. Allow yourself to fail. Cry as much as you want. Eat as much as you want. But make sure the way you behave is always honorable and in your own best interest. Most breaks will heal, but continual fractures compounded over time won’t ever go back to normal.

11. Believe that you, and everyone around you, is unique and important and should be supported and loved. You are a worthwhile person and deserve to be treated in a way that will make you feel happy and loved, as does everyone around you.

12. If someone is hurting you or your feelings, making your life difficult, or breaking you in a bad way, get away from that person. Revenge has never helped anyone. Show them the right way by example, but keep them at arms length at least.

13. Forever is a very long time, and a very powerful word. When people use it, they often don’t mean it.

14. Be aware of the transience of life.

15. Immerse yourself in the emotions that you are feeling. If you are joyous, celebrate and share that joy. If you are despairing, allow yourself to feel the misery entirely. Allow deaths to take place. Everything in life eventually will die.

16. Fight yourself, but don’t fight yourself too much. Your fist instinct is usually right. Pain indicates that things aren’t right–if you sense pain, don’t fight it, explore it to find what is wrong.

17. People do not always tell the truth in relationships. You will probably end up not telling the truth in relationships. What is true in one moment, for lovers, is often not true in the next. Allow for the gray area in relationships to exist. Don’t be too quick to point fingers. Be as accepting of others as you would like them to be of you. When they ask for it, people often deserve to be forgiven.

18. Don’t hold grudges. Remember grievances and be cautious, but those who ask for second chances often deserve them, especially if they are asked with an apology and a specific plan for change, for how the wrong will not happen again.

19. If you wrong someone, do not just apologize. Apologize first, then tell or show the person how you will not commit the same wrong again.

20. Be aware that people will give back to you the same amount of trust, respect, and love that you give to them.

21. People rarely if ever change who they are underneath the clothes, hair, makeup, and money.

22. Don’t force someone you care about to do something that they don’t want to do, even if you think it would make you happy. Allow others to put their happiness first too.

23. When things are the hardest, take baby steps. Fake it. Walk through life as if things are ok, and eventually the play-acting will become real.


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